Apple’s Showtime: the aftermath

The frenzy is over. Servers are back up. First let’s talk about what rumor sites were expecting:

• widescreen touch-sensitive “true video” ipod FALSE
• iPhone, somewhere between a nano and the newton FALSE
• Airport Express for streaming video SORT OF FALSE
• revamped computer line-up FALSE
• renamed iTunes store to accomodate movies SORT OF FALSE

At first I was really dissapointed. I’ve been waiting for the “new” video ipod for a long time now. But as I mulled over what WAS released, I perked up a bit. So let’s talk about what happened, and what it means for the world of apple fanatics.

First of all, the entire iPod line was in fact revamped. The retarded cousin lovingly called “Shuffle” got a total overhaul.

It is now smaller than ever, made out of aluminum, has a built in clip, and a brilliant USB dock that connects through a headphone jack. Personally, I never liked the shuffle. I hated that it had a generic USB port coming out the end of it. I think if anything really got “remastered” it was this puppy. For $79.00 you get the ability to carry 240 of your favorite songs, a set of the new earphones AND the USB dock. Clip it on your shirt sleeve and go.

Next up is the “new” nano. I use quotes because if anyone remembers the Apple Mini, then these look very familiar. The original nano was plagued with complaints about its gorgeous acrylic face being prone to scratches, some so bad that it was difficult to read what was on the screen. Apple quietly released a second revision whose outer lip was slightly raised above the rest of the device. This fixed it scratching while lying face down on a table, but it wasn’t enough. A couple lawsuits later, we find ourselves back in the land of anodized aluminum and bright colors. New features include up to 8GB of storage, up to 24 hours of battery life and a 40% brighter screen. It should be noted that I proudly rock a 2nd generation black nano with my nike+ kit. Be sure to check out the AWESOME new nano ad.

Enter the patriarch. Known simply as “iPod,” this bruiser was the original apple mp3 player. Now in its 6th generation, it really doesn’t look to much different. Apart from a bigger screen, thinner body, the ability to do color and video, and a fullsized firewire port, this is basically the same device that was introduced 4(?) years ago. Sure, they introduced a black ipod, and occasionally a red ipod, but the form factor is essentially the same. This is also why apple wasn’t able to get me to upgrade my 20GB grayscale 4th gen brick. Sure I can watch a TV show, and with this update a movie, but why would I want to? The screen is too small and the shape isn’t conducive to hours of holding and watching. The movie industry made 16:9 standard, and many TV shows have switched to that aspect ratio. So stick black bars on a 2.5 inch 4:3 and my eyes start to hurt. With this release Apple introduced 80GB of space, increased battery life, and a new interface that includes a search ability. Oh yea, and some new games. BIG DEAL. As far as I’m concerned, this is just a stall attempt as they continue working towards the widescreen video ipod. We’ve seen the patents, and god knows we need it. Obviously they needed to refresh the line-up, but this was the firecracker that sizzled instead of exploding. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

The showstoppers

The first huge release from Apple that I overlooked at first is iTunes 7. At a whopping 72.3 megs (the size of some of their pro applications), this thing kills. It has a totally revamped user interface, but the only word I have to describe it is “cleaner.” The best remodels are the ones where you can’t tell what they did differently. It just feels improved. The iTunes music store is now simply called the “iTunes Store.” Now you can touchup your downloaded music with matching CD artwork free of charge, something that originally required 3rd party applications or hours of searching amazon’s music database. It has an awesome new feature called “cover flow” that lets you flip through your music and video collection just as you through your CD’s, and the new “Download Manager” allows you designate what order to download content from the iTunes store. I also have a strong feeling that these new features are a good indicate of what OS 10.5 Leopard is going to look like. For more indepth coverage, check out TUAW’s walkthrough of iTunes 7’s big new features.

Apple’s sneak peek at codename “iTV,” or “Airport Express w/ video” was the other mind blower. Originally rumored to be called “iHome,” this device allows you to stream your music videos, tv shows, and movies wireless to a set-top box with HDMI out. Basically, Apple just landed in a living room near you (or at least in Q1 of 2007). Looking like a squashed Mac Mini, this device includes hi definition video ports, optical audio, next-generation wireless capabilities, and all the old fashioned RCA jacks you could possibly need. And it’s priced at $299. And you can use your existing apple remote control. Get out of here.

Steve, I love you.

So get off your butt and head over to apple.com. Download iTunes 7. Update your music, and check out the iTunes store. TV shows are now at double their original resolution, and the movies look great. I downloaded “The Lady Killers” as a test and its almost DVD quality. If you don’t have one already, BUY A FREAKIN’ iPOD!!!